When Coaching Feels Like Criticism: Why the Best Salespeople Don’t Resist Help
Let’s start with a moment of honesty.
Do you resist the efforts of others to tell you how to sell better? This doesn’t mean you’re stubborn, difficult, or un-coachable.
You’re human.
Sales is personal. Your style, your words, your instincts, they feel like you. So when someone says, “You should try doing it this way instead,” it can feel less like advice and more like an attack on your competence.
SELLability understands this reaction, and it also understands why resisting coaching is one of the most expensive habits a salesperson can have.
Why Salespeople Resist Being Told How to Sell
Resistance usually doesn’t come from arrogance.
It comes from experience.
Salespeople resist coaching because:
- “This has worked for me before.”
- “I’ve been doing this a long time.”
- “That doesn’t sound like me.”
- “Every prospect is different.”
- “I don’t want to sound scripted.”
All of those thoughts make sense.
The problem isn’t that salespeople think they’re perfect.
The problem is that most advice in sales is vague, opinion-based, or personality-driven.
And nobody wants to be told to “just be more confident” or “try harder.”
The Big Difference: It’s Not About Your Personality
We don’t want to replace you.
We focus on behavior, structure, and process.
Don’t ask:
- “Do you like selling this way?”
- “Does this feel natural?”
- “What’s your style?”
Ask this:
- “Does this behavior move the sale forward?”
- “Does this create clarity?”
- “Does this build trust and certainty?”
- “Does this work consistently?”
That’s a completely different conversation.
When coaching becomes about observable behaviors instead of personal style, resistance drops, fast.
The Truth About “My Way Works”
Here’s a tough but freeing truth:
Something can work, and still not work as well as it could.
SELLability doesn’t challenge results.
It challenges efficiency, consistency, and predictability.
You might be closing deals, but:
- Are you closing as many as you should?
- Are you creating unnecessary pressure at the close?
- Are objections showing up late?
- Are deals falling apart after the sale?
Most salespeople aren’t stuck because they’re bad.
They’re stuck because they’re inconsistent, and inconsistency hides behind resistance.
Why the Top Performers Seek Coaching (Instead of Fighting It)
Here’s what SELLability sees again and again:
The top 15-20% of salespeople:
- Ask for feedback
- Want their calls reviewed
- Are curious about blind spots
- Don’t protect their ego, they protect their results
They don’t say, “This is how I sell.”
They say, “How can I sell better?”
That mindset is the real separator.
Coaching Isn’t About Being Told What to Do
Coaching is not:
- Someone telling you what to say
- Someone criticizing your style
- Someone forcing a script on you
It is:
- Identifying which Core Ability is limiting you
- Diagnosing where the sales process breaks down
- Practicing one specific behavior
- Applying it immediately in real conversations
That’s not criticism.
That’s professional skill development.
Resistance Usually Signals a Skill Gap (Not a Flaw)
Here’s a powerful reframe:
If you resist being told how to sell better, it’s often because:
- You don’t fully understand why the recommendation works
- You haven’t practiced it enough to trust it
- You haven’t seen consistent results yet
SELLability removes that uncertainty by tying everything back to:
- The 8 Core Abilities
- The Sales process
- Measurable behaviors
- Real-world application
Once you see the logic, resistance fades.
From “Don’t Tell Me” to “Show Me”
The shift that changes everything is this:
Stop asking,
“Do I like this advice?”
Start asking,
“Does this improve my selling ability?”
When coaching is framed that way, it stops being personal, and starts being useful.
The Real Risk Isn’t Being Coached
The real risk is believing:
- You already know enough
- Your current way is “good enough”
- Improvement means changing who you are
We don’t ask you to become someone else.
It gives you tools to become more effective as you are.
The Bottom Line
If you resist being told how to sell better, you’re not alone.
But the salespeople who grow the fastest learn one critical skill:
Separating ego from execution.
When you let go of resistance and lean into structured improvement:
- Selling gets easier
- Confidence becomes earned
- Closings feel cleaner
- Results become predictable
And that’s what SELLability is built for.
Not to tell you how to sell, but to help you sell better, on purpose.
