Paying Attention: The Secret Skill Most Salespeople Skip
Here’s something funny about contacting a prospect:Most salespeople think they’re doing it right… while accidentally putting a giant spotlight on themselves.
I see it all the time in training. A salesperson works so hard to sell their personality, their product, their features—basically performing like they’re auditioning for America’s Got Talent—while the prospect sits there thinking:
“Cool… but do you even know why I’m here?”
It makes sense. You want them to like you and what you’re selling.
But when all your attention is on you, there’s none left for them—and that’s where the sale actually lives.
The Power of Listening (AKA: The Skill Everyone Claims to Have)At SELLability, we hammer listening into our students like it’s oxygen—because it is.
If your attention is on yourself, two things are guaranteed:
- You’re not really listening, and
- You’re missing all the clues that help you complete each step of the sales process.
Real listening automatically makes you curious—you ask follow-up questions, you clarify, you dig deeper.
For example, a customer might say:
“Yeah, we’ve tried three different vendors and none of them solved the turnaround problem.”A salesperson with attention on themselves hears:
“Vendors = bad. Time to pitch my solution!”
A salesperson who’s actually listening hears:
“Turnaround problem? Three vendors? Why didn’t it get solved?”
And they follow up with:
“Tell me more about what wasn’t working.”
That question alone can change the entire sale.
Getting the Prospect Talking (Without Stealing the Stage)
One of our blogs this month is all about getting prospects to talk, and yes—it’s essential.You can’t move a sale forward if you don’t find points of agreement.
But here’s the trap most salespeople fall into:
They try to force the conversation by performing instead of paying attention.
If you’re busy thinking about the next clever thing you’re going to say, you’ll completely miss the golden moment when the prospect hands you something vital—like a problem, a priority, or an unspoken need.
Sales isn’t about talking.
It’s about noticing.
The Temptation Trap
There’s a moment every salesperson faces—the moment the prospect mentions something you’re an expert in.
Your brain lights up like a pinball machine:
“I KNOW THIS! LET ME DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION!”
I’ve been there myself.
A prospect once started talking about a Microsoft division I knew inside and out.
They had opinions that were… well, let’s just say not accurate.
My instinct was to jump in and rescue the conversation with all my brilliant knowledge.
But I had to stop and ask myself:
- Is correcting them actually important right now?
- Or will it derail the real purpose of this conversation?
You’re not there to win a trivia battle. You’re there to understand their needs, wants, problems, and goals.
Where Your Attention Belongs
The rule is simple:
Put the lion’s share of attention on your prospect
Keep just enough on yourself to guide the conversation
Don’t flip the spotlight around and make it your showSalespeople don’t lose deals because they talk too little.They lose deals because they listen too little.
The more attention you put on your prospect, the more they reveal—
and the more you understand, the more you can help.
And that’s when selling stops feeling like selling…
and starts feeling like solving.
